I'll have a taco and your money!

A pregnant La Crosse woman on probation is accused of trying to rob a South Side restaurant for drug money late Tuesday only to fail when she could not pull her weapon - a hammer - from her shorts.
"I want a soft shell and this is a stickup. Give me all your money," the woman reportedly told the cash-ier about 10:40 p.m. at Taco John's, 1211 Jackson St.

The woman then tugged on the handle of a hammer in her pocket but could not work it free, according to La Crosse police reports. The cash-ier pressed the restaurant's panic button and called 911 as the woman fled.

Worlds largest squirrel Shot in Wisconsin!

Great job boys!

A couple that craps together? Goes to jail!

A La Crosse woman faces a felony charge after a weekend bender got messy.
Officers were told Saturday afternoon that Heather Voeller and Andrew Austin returned drunk to the Salvation Army shelter at 223 N. Eighth St., took off their clothes and defecated on a flight of stairs, according to police reports.
A trail of feces led to a room where officers found the couple naked on a bunk bed, the report stated.
Austin, 26, said he was on probation and not supposed to drink, but they had fallen off the wagon and started drinking vodka about 1 p.m.
While escorting Austin to a squad car, the officer saw Voeller flailing and kicking at another officer. When he went to help, Austin took off running. Both were caught and eventually subdued.
Voeller, 22, kicked one officer in the face during the arrest, according to the complaint filed Monday in La Crosse County Circuit Court. She is charged with attempted battery of an officer, a felony, plus resisting an officer, and lewd and lascivious behavior.
Austin is charged with escape and lewd and lascivious behavior.

One more and I'm ready for sum huntin!

MADISON, Wis. - Authorities arrested nearly a dozen drunken hunters during Wisconsin's November gun deer hunt.
A state Department of Natural Resources report says 11 people were arrested for going armed while intoxicated in the field during the nine-day season.

Five of them had been arrested for at least one alcohol-related offense in the past. One of them had multiple arrests for driving under the influence of an intoxicant.

Those Nasty Packer Fans!

A Green Bay Packers fan has been charged with assault in the stabbing of another man outside the Leaning Tower of Pizza on Lyndale Avenue in Minneapolis.
 
Minneapolis restaurant Monday after the two argued over the game in which the Packers lost to the Minnesota Vikings, authorities said.
According to the criminal complaint, Ryan Hinderaker, 30, was arguing with a 41-year-old man over the Packers-Vikings game. Police said Hinderaker, wearing a Packers t-shirt, stepped outside and was followed by the man he was arguing over the game with.
Hinderaker then pulled a knife out of his right pants pocket and stabbed the man in the stomach. The man was taken to Hennepin County Medicals Center, where he underwent surgery for his injury.

Hinderaker called 911 after the incident and turned himself in to Minneapolis police. Hinderaker has been charged with second-degree assault.

Now where did I park the sled?

One of his helpers was arrested for driving “Santa Claus” around while both men were intoxicated, and after Santa was reported to have hugged children and asked them where his reindeer were, Sparta police said.
Early Sunday afternoon, police dispatchers received calls about a suspicious vehicle, including one call from Elm Street on the city’s north side, police said in a press release. One caller said a passenger dressed as Santa stumbled from the vehicle, approached several children playing in a yard and began to hug them, demanding to know where his reindeer were, police said. He got back into the vehicle and left the area.
Police quickly found the vehicle, stopped it and determined the driver and Santa both were intoxicated.
The driver, Kevin Arnold, 47, of Sparta was arrested on suspicion of operating while intoxicated.
Police said Santa was identified as Thomas Arnold, 55, of Sparta, and was cited for open intoxicants.

Weinermobile to the rescue!

Jon Kleinow was saved by a Madison icon on Wednesday. Kleinow was on his way to work at the State Journal about 2:30 p.m. when his Hyundai began sliding back down a hill on City View Drive on Madison's Far East Side. He pulled into a driveway to Staybridge Suites and got stuck there.
Kleinow was pondering the alternatives when behind him appeared none other than the biggest rescue dog in Madison: the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile, trying to get out of the parking lot.
The driver, whose name Kleinow did not ask, quickly offered assistance. With the help of the driver and a passerby - plus the help of traction from cat litter provided by the Weinermobile driver - the car was freed.
Kleinow was so impressed he called Oscar Mayer to register his thanks.

Your tax dollars at work! What's next?

Milwaukee Public Schools could be one of the few districts in the country that provides contraception to students.
School board members will consider making free condoms available to students in many of the district's high schools. The district's health officials say the free condoms are needed to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
Two condoms would be available only after a student talks with a school nurse. The student would also receive literature about the risks of being sexually active.
A Youth Risk Behavior Survey conducted by the school district this year showed more than 60 percent of high school students in MPS are sexually active.
The Journal Sentinel reports a school board committee will take up the matter Tuesday.

Third Time Is A Charm! In 10 Months!

MADISON - A Wisconsin lawmaker was facing calls for his resignation or expulsion Thursday after he was arrested a day earlier for driving under the influence for the third time in 10 months.

A criminal complaint filed today against Rep. Jeffrey Wood said a citizen saw his vehicle drive into oncoming traffic in Tomah in western Wisconsin and twice enter an intersection at a red light before backing up. The caller said the vehicle almost struck hers in the parking lot outside a Dollar Tree store.

Something Special From Wisconsin.

An Onalaska man faces charges for allegedly driving drunk and hitting a parked car that ended up inside a Centerville bar. And the name of the bar you ask? The Jail House! I guess it's two jail houses in the same night for him.

I guess the bear wanted a beer!

HAYWARD, Wis. – Shoppers in a Wisconsin grocery store got an unexpected surprise when a 125-pound black bear wandered inside and headed straight for the beer cooler.
The bear stopped Friday night at Marketplace Foods in Hayward, about 140 miles northeast of Minneapolis, sauntering through the automatic doors and heading straight for the liquor department.

It calmly climbed up 12 feet onto a shelf in the beer cooler where it sat for about an hour while employees helped evacuate customers and summoned wildlife officials.
Officials from the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources tranquilized the animal and took it out of the store. Store workers say the bear seemed content in the cooler and did not consume any alcohol.

My parnets have a cabin in Hayward and our family spends a lot of time there. But we never saw a bear in town! Crazy!

Drunk-Toberfest!

Today is the start of Octoberfest in LaCrosse. Octoberfest in LaCrosse means beer and getting drunk. Not just drunk, totally wasted drunk. Unless of course you are a LaCrosse official or on the Octoberfest board, then it's call a family fest. This year there is something new at the fest.

New this year are bright green wrist bands with the aid station's address, to be distributed by college student volunteers and hotels. Visitors are encouraged to write important phone numbers and hotel information on their bracelets.

This way if you become totally wasted, loose your friends and personal identification someone will be able to help you. Our of course if you decide to really do it up big and drink till your unconsious someone will know where to deposit your body. Now that's proactive thinking! Great job guys, way to tackle that binge drinking problem. Problem solved! I'm not making this up, seriously! Only in Wisconsin!

Only In Wisconsin!

Daniel Samplaski, 35, was arrested early Friday morning on drunken driving charges after traveling in his motorized scooter on the ramp in downtown Milwaukee. Samplaski blew a .23, almost three times the state legal limit of .08, on a portable breath test, according to the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department. He has four prior OWI convictions.On video from the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department, Samplaski says he borrowed the wheelchair from a friend."There was no end. There was no end. I got on (the ramp) and I couldn't get off of it," Samplaski told police.Samlpaski told officers that he had a past injury with a broken leg and that he got on the freeway, thinking it was a sidewalk.

I think he should go with the mask.

A municipal judge Thursday found a La Crosse man guilty of disorderly conduct for wearing a fully hooded black sweatshirt into a downtown credit union and later screaming at police.

"I can tell in your mind you're thinking you didn't do anything wrong. You did," La Crosse Municipal Judge Dennis Marcou told Eric Harding. "You don't walk into certain places with your face covered."

Marcou's lecture book-ended an hourlong trial in which Harding, 32, tried to plead his case without an attorney, understanding of the law or preparation.

Governmental Employees Credit Union customer Tom Rose testified he was in the drive-up terminals about 10:30 a.m. July 1 when he saw Harding, dressed in a sweatshirt with printed skeletal bones, speed up on a bike and enter the building with the hood covering his face.

"I didn't know if it was a robbery or not," Rose said. "I've never seen anyone run into bank with a mask on before."

Rose called 911 to report a possible heist.

"You made a snap decision based on what I looked like?" Harding asked on cross-examination. "You think it's illegal to look different?"

Marcou sustained Municipal Prosecutor Pete Kisken's objection.

"I don't know what sustained means," Harding replied.

Harding unzipped the hood inside the bank - "I didn't want to scare anybody," he testified - and withdrew $600 for rent before riding off on Second Street. Minutes later, he said, he was "almost hit by a police car" at Second and State streets.

Harding testified police told him to "sit down, shut up and don't worry about it" as he was handcuffed and detained. He eventually was released when the confusion cleared.

Harding later stormed into the La Crosse police station and demanded to speak with a lieutenant. Lt. Ray Serres described Harding as agitated, loud and argumentative, at one point pounding on a table in an interview room.

"He was describing how his rights were violated," Serres said.

"Yes, I was loud with him," Harding testified. "I was shaking, I was so mad."

He also returned to the credit union, where he grew irate with President Sue Prinsen, she testified. Harding objected when she said he was "talking loudly."

"There's no objection in the law that I'm aware of where you can object if the witness says something you don't like," Marcou replied.

Harding told the judge he'd never had a problem with the sweatshirt in the past.

"Why did you wear it into a bank?" Marcou asked.

"It's what I was wearing that morning. It's like, why do you wear pants?" he said. "It's not illegal to walk into bank with a mask on."

Harding's behavior justified the $101 disorderly conduct citation, Marcou said, adding, "You're inviting more trouble if you continue to wear that mask."

Harding, of 509 S. Fifth Ave., said he plans to appeal.

4 the homeless.

My daughter has a Favre for President shirt. She thought she was so cool when she bought it. Haha I'm not a homeless person in Wisconsin would wear it now.

Two talk show hosts at WTDY in Madison are collecting old Favre sportswear and donating it to the homeless.

Dan Deibert and Kurt Baron call themselves the Wisconsin Guys. They're collecting Favre jerseys, hats and sweat shirts as part of a ``4 The Poor Jersey Drive.''

They say burning, shredding and running over Favre gear are all ``pretty good ideas.'' But they say a better idea is donating the ``useless'' clothes to a Twin Cities homeless shelter so they don't go to waste.

Donors will be entered into a drawing for tickets to the Packers-Vikings game in Green Bay on Nov. 1.

The station will deliver the gear before the Oct. 5 matchup in Minnesota.

Something Special (near Wisconsin)

WINONA, Minn. - A week after Brett Favre the quarterback found a new home in Minnesota, Wisconsin found its replacement: Brett the Goat.

Duane and Carlene Schultz of Eleva, Wis., adopted the goat, which was seized by Winona animal control Friday after it was found in the trunk of a car, painted Minnesota Vikings purple and gold with the No. 4 shaved into its side. The two people who had the goat may be charged criminally. Winona prosecutors are considering charges.

"It may seem like a humorous incident, but it's being taken seriously," Assistant City Attorney Brian Glodosky said. "It is sad someone would treat an animal this way."

Auto repairman James Prusci called animal control after a woman came into Tires Plus to replace a belt and told him there was a goat in the trunk. The woman - who said she planned to butcher the animal later - had tied it by its feet.

Animal control and police responded, and the goat's owners relinquished the animal to Winona's animal control, officer Wendy Peterson said. Police referred the matter to the city attorney's office to review for possible charges, Deputy Police Chief Tom Williams said.

Janelle Riopel, 21, of St. Paul and Sonny Yang, 24, of La Crosse could be cited for mistreatment of animals, Glodosky said.

A message left for Riopel was not returned Monday. Attempts to reach Yang were unsuccessful.

Brett the Goat is healthy and mostly cleaned off, Carlene Schultz said. The No. 4 is still shaved into his side and he has a purple tint when in the sun, she said. The Schultzes are keeping Brett at their farm, where they have goats, llamas, chickens and a donkey. They were recommended by respected local goat owners, Peterson said.

"He is wonderful," Carlene Schultz said.

The Schultzes plan to still call the goat "Brett," she said.

This isn't their first farm related homage to the former Packer. They modeled a corn maze in 2008 after Favre.

A spokesman for the Minnesota Vikings did not return a request for comment Monday afternoon.

Wisconsin: The Dairy State

A long-simmering feud between a 13-year-old girl and her step-grandfather erupted after the man allegedly poured her milk down the drain, prompting the girl to fatally stab him in the neck, court documents said.

Labrina T. Brown, who allegedly threatened Robert A. Moon with knives before, told an officer who responded, “I killed him,” and said to a neighbor, “I’m not afraid to go to jail for this,” according to the criminal complaint against her.
The Milwaukee girl is charged as an adult with first-degree reckless homicide, which carries a maximum penalty of 60 years in prison. At an initial appearance Tuesday in Milwaukee County Children’s Court, she was ordered held on $150,000 cash bond.