Goals! Ya gotta have them!

An obese mother in the US is trying to put on weight in order to become the world's fattest woman. Donna Simpson, from New Jersey, weighs 273kg but told the Daily Mail newspaper she had her heart set on reaching her goal weight of 1000lb (450kg) in two years.
The 42-year-old already holds the title of the world's fattest mother after giving birth to her daughter in 2007 when she weighed 241kg.
"I'd love to be 1000lb ... it might be hard though, running after my daughter keeps my weight down," Ms Simpson told the Daily Mail.
Ms Simpson, who needs a mobility scooter to go shopping, eats huge amounts of junk food each week and tries to move as little as possible so she doesn't burn off as many calories.
"I do love cakes and sweet things, doughnuts are my favourite," she said.
Ms Simpson said she also loved eating sushi and would often eat 70 big pieces in one go.
Her 49-year-old partner Philippe — who she met on a dating site for plus-size people — was encouraging her to reach her goal, she said.
"I think he'd like it if I was bigger ... he's a real belly man and completely supports me," she said.
To put on enough weight, Ms Simpson will need to eat 12,000 calories a day, which is six times the recommended daily intake for women.

In order to pay for the enormous amounts of food she is eating — her weekly grocery bill is $815 — Ms Simpson makes money by running a website where men pay to watch her consume fast food.

I have to get one of these for the Prius

Worlds largest squirrel Shot in Wisconsin!

Great job boys!

Change

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.
This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.  I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem.  They voted for change...... I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.


THE BOSS

Spandex King at the Movies

Went to see Alice in Wonderland this weekend. The 3D and the special effects were awesome. The movie was okay. I know it was Alice in Wonderland, what did I expect? The little fat boys were my favorite. The kind of movie that if your going to see, you have to see in the theater. All in all I would give it a B. If you have kids this would be a great movie for them. I'm sure they would love it.

A couple that craps together? Goes to jail!

A La Crosse woman faces a felony charge after a weekend bender got messy.
Officers were told Saturday afternoon that Heather Voeller and Andrew Austin returned drunk to the Salvation Army shelter at 223 N. Eighth St., took off their clothes and defecated on a flight of stairs, according to police reports.
A trail of feces led to a room where officers found the couple naked on a bunk bed, the report stated.
Austin, 26, said he was on probation and not supposed to drink, but they had fallen off the wagon and started drinking vodka about 1 p.m.
While escorting Austin to a squad car, the officer saw Voeller flailing and kicking at another officer. When he went to help, Austin took off running. Both were caught and eventually subdued.
Voeller, 22, kicked one officer in the face during the arrest, according to the complaint filed Monday in La Crosse County Circuit Court. She is charged with attempted battery of an officer, a felony, plus resisting an officer, and lewd and lascivious behavior.
Austin is charged with escape and lewd and lascivious behavior.

I have a big surprise for you! WHAM!

A 37-year-old Salt Lake City woman on Tuesday admitted hitting her husband in the head with a hammer three years ago after blindfolding him and promising a "surprise."
Amy Teresa Ricks was charged in 3rd District Court with second-degree felony attempted murder for the May 4, 2007, attack.